Six: Teen Edition

Six: Teen Edition is a full length adaptation of Six the Musical by Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss. It is written for educational youth theatre companies to perform, such as those in schools.

Synopsis[]

The show begins with the six Queens introducing themselves in chronological order through a pop song. They welcome the audience to the performance ("Ex-Wives"). They then inform the audience that the concert will feature a competition between the Queens based on who had the worst experience with their common husband, Henry VIII. The winner of the competition gets to be the lead singer of the band ("Ex-Wives (Reprise)"). Catherine of Aragon is the first contestant to perform, recounting that despite how loyal she had been to him during their relationship, Henry wished to annul his marriage to Aragon and move her into a nunnery when he began lusting after Anne Boleyn, much to her anger ("No Way"). Aragon then declares herself the winner; however, the other Queens mention Anne and how Henry's desire to be with her led him to annul their marriage ("The One You've Been Waiting For"). Anne ridicules Aragon about how Henry wanted to be with her instead, but she soon begins to complain about his infidelity and decides to flirt with other men to make him jealous, leading to her eventual arrest and execution ("Don't Lose Ur Head"). After her solo, Anne also proclaims herself the winner of the competition and begins to sing a second song "about the moment [she] found out Catherine of Aragon had tragically died". However, she is interrupted by the other Queens before she can even finish the first line. Jane Seymour announces that it is her turn to perform, but she is mocked for having had an easy time with Henry. She admits that while she may have been the one that Henry truly loved, she states that his love was conditional because she had produced a male heir. Despite this, Jane remained by Henry's side despite his many faults ("Heart of Stone").

The story then shifts as the Queens pretend to be members of Hans Holbein's painting studio, explaining how they make the women that he paints look beautiful for their portraits ("Haus of Holbein"). They parody a dating app by presenting a choice of three women for Henry to marry: Christina of Denmark, Amalia of Cleves, and Anna of Cleves, who is Amalia's elder sister. Henry chooses Anna of Cleves and the Queens are excited because they believe that the two will have a happy, long-lasting marriage ("Haus of Holbein (Playoff)"). However, their union is ultimately ill-fated as he decides to annul their marriage after meeting Anna in person due to her supposed non-resemblance to her portrait. Anna pretends to complain about how she is "forced" to live in a beautiful palace in Richmond as a result of the annulment and soon begins to boast about her riches and how she is able to do anything that she wishes ("Get Down"). The other Queens point out that Anna's life wasn't actually so that difficult and she ultimately ends up disqualified from the competition. During Katherine Howard's turn, the Queens belittle her for being "the least relevant Catherine". She retorts by mentioning flaws in the other Queens' reasons for winning before recounting her romantic history, having had many suitors even as a child. At first, Katherine brags about her attractiveness; however, she soon realises the emotional trauma and abuse she faced in these relationships and how they led to her beheading ("All You Wanna Do").

As the Queens continue to argue about who should win the competition, Catherine Parr attempts to put a stop to it by pointing out how the contest defines them solely by their connections to Henry rather than their individual accomplishments. The Queens mock her and refuse to listen to her, so Parr begins to tell her story, beginning with a letter to the love of her life explaining that she has to leave him because Henry wishes to marry her. She then recounts the accomplishments she made independently of Henry, such as how she was a writer and an advocate for women's rights ("I Don't Need Your Love"). The other Queens, realising how long they have let themselves be defined by their marriages to Henry, stop the competition and declare that they don't need his love to feel validated as people ("I Don't Need Your Love (Remix)"). With only five minutes left in the show, they decide to use the remaining time on stage to "rewrite" their stories and sing together as a group rather than as solo artists, writing their own happily ever after ("Six").

In live performances, the Queens perform an encore number called "Megasix", serving as a mashup of all of the songs in the show (minus "Haus of Holbein"), serving as the show's bows.

Script Changes[]

General changes

The inclusion of an onstage band (the Ladies in Waiting) is made optional. All lines addressing them or other technical workers are noted as optional in the text and may be omitted.
The book and score provide the option of including additional backup singers and dancers.
Any lines referencing a specific location (i.e. "And tonight, London, we are LIVE") can be changed to the location of the production, just as professional productions of Six do.
Most of the swears are kept intact.

Ex-Wives

The line is spelled "History's about to get overthrone."
Aragon's "Remember us from your GCSEs?" line is meant to be spoken "alluringly."
Boleyn's lines are changed to "just saying hey" and "oopsie-daisy" instead of "and I'm up next, see" and "I'm that sexy," respectively.
Cleves' solo lines are changed to: "But when he met me, he was like, 'Ew... who's this girl?' / Funny cos when I first saw his ugly face it made me wanna / hu—."
As a result, Howard's solo is changed to start with "Hullo there" instead of "Prick up your ears." “My promiscuity outside of wed” is also changed to “an active social life outside of wed."
The "biggest, fullest load of BS" section is simplified to Cleves saying,"Exactly - the Queen to take the crown should be the one who had to put up with the most trouble from the man who put a ring on it."
The section introducing the Ladies in Waiting is made optional.

No Way

Catherine of Aragon's "Maria - gimme a beat!" line can be optionally changed to "gimme a beat!" if a production does not include an onstage band. The line "Give it up for Maria on the drums!" can also be omitted.
"And he's trying really hard," is changed to "But we're not having much luck."

Don't Lose Ur Head

"I was pret à manger" and "three in the bed" are left intact, but the next bit is changed to "Her or me, feel / Like I gotta be real / I'm not a third wheel / Are you blind?!"
"He doesn't want to bang you / somebody hang you" is changed to "He thinks that I'm cuter / Someone execute her."
"Wanted to get X-rated" is changed to "Tried to keep us PG-rated."
"Sleeping around" is changed to "getting around."
The end of the verse is changed to "Mate, I don't care! / You're just being a little— (all gasp) / Cos you can't produce an heir."
"I guess he just really liked my head" is changed to "I guess you could say things were really coming to a head."

Wearing Yellow to a Funeral

The Teen Edition script cuts off immediately after "massive," whereas the full edition has Anne Boleyn cut off after starting to say the next word.

Heart of Stone

No changes.

Haus of Holbein

No changes.

Get Down

The only instance of a swear being censored: "Paid for with my own pounds / Where my dogs at? Release the hounds!"

All You Wanna Do

Howard is occasionally referred to in stage directions throughout the play as "K-Howard."
"Ever since I was a child, I've made the boys go wild" is changed to "Every once in a while, I make the boys go wild."
"Broad, dark, sexy Mannox" is changed to "Broad, dark, Henry Mannox"
"He was twenty-three" is changed to "he was older than me."
"His little piece of ass-istant" is changed to "his personal assistant."
"The sexy secretary" is changed to "The fetching secretary."
"You can't wait a second more / to get my corset on the floor" is changed to "You can't wait a second more / to see me at your bedroom door."

I Don't Need Your Love

The line about miscarriages is cut, with Anne Boleyn instead replying to Catherine of Aragon's mistresses line with "Well, I — lost — my — head!" after which a stage direction is given that "(They all explode into an argument.)"
Catherine Parr's lines addressing the lighting box and Joan are made optional.

Six

No changes.

MegaSIX

The inclusion of Maria's name in Howard's line "Alright! Maria, HIT IT" is made optional.
"Get your phones out" is omitted. Instead, Howard says her "Alright, hit it!" line, Aragon (not Howard) says, "[London], get on your feet!," and Cleves (not Aragon) says, "I wanna see ev'rybody clap your hands."
The Lady in Waiting features/solos are made optional.